he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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