wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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