I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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