return my video game
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
