The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
