batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude i'm inner monologue high
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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