She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
