You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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