I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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