help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
