Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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