he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
