3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
