if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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