I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
