so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
