shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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