who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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