it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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