**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
