Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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