she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I came so hard my ears popped.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
