Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
