if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
