You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
