I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Randomize
