I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
