you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
