Already got asked if we're dating
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
