Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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