he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
