Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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