i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
