I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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