Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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