I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
