ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
