Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
