I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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