Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
