we're blogging at a bar
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I want to have your abortion
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
