ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
