Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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