How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
