hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Randomize
