I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
