I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
