Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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