Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
