Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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