Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
