you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you win again, gameday.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She needs sedatives and a leash
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
